Are you happy?


Since I’ve become a mother, I’ve been inundated with questions from family, friends and strangers alike.

How was the birth? What was the birth like? Was it natural/caesarean/drug free/with drugs?

How’s the baby? Is he feeding well? Are you breastfeeding?

How are you feeling? Are you eating well? Are you getting any sleep?

How is your husband coping? Is he being supportive?

Are you adjusting to motherhood?

With the majority of our friends currently child-free, the curiosity is understandable. And we appreciate the concern laced in the questions from family.

But only one person asked the question that answers all the others.

When this question was asked, I was  surrounded by my fertility specialist’s team of nurses and admin staff. I was introducing our 7-week old baby to the man responsible for bringing him into being and after the obligatory ‘what’s his name?’ etc, he turned and looked into my eyes.

“Are you happy?”

When the quest to start a family has been as long and as difficult as ours, disappointment, sorrow and despair are your constant companions. You cannot escape them – they cling in the background while you’re preoccupied with work and life, and spring forth when you’re alone at home, lying in bed in the dark or having lunch surrounded by pram-pushing families. It slowly gnaws at your soul and a lot of tears spilt, until you either learn to let them go or the situation changes.

Yet for those who pursue the dream of a family with children, they hold and nurse a precious kernel of hope. I’d imagine those in the fertility industry help carry that burden – and they see far too many have that hope dashed.

The SO and I are incredibly lucky and blessed to be in a country that enables us to pursue many avenues to start our family, as well as to have one of the state’s best medical teams supporting us in that dream. That was why I was adamant that I brought Bubby to see them – to show them what their work meant to our family.

Overwhelmed with gratitude and respect, I held back tears as I held Bubby close to answer: “Yes.”

With a gentle smile, he patted my shoulder and headed back into his little office.